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Quality of Life…  

Some people evolve, some others stay the same. When we evolve though, our concepts and definitions change for the better. We become somewhat pickier, more sophisticated. Many changes start happening in our behavior that not always are accepted by those who share or used to share our social group. That is an unequivocal sign that you are evolving.  

It is typical in any organization to find individuals who have influence on most other peers. In a few cases the influential person is a positive leader, although unfortunately most of those influencers may not be positive. Indeed the majority of them may be negative and destructive.  Their influence can be a result of seniority, personality or simple bullying. People align with them either because they feel good with them or fear being away from their lines of conduct. 

You can easily identify those bad leaders when they approach you to advise things like: “you don’t need to work that hard” – “you get the same pay if you do your best or you do not” – “don’t worry that much about quality” – “ you don’t need to be always on time” – or – “that is not your job.” If you are not yet ready to evolve, those advices will be acceptable. Most people will be comfortable following them. 

Drastic Changes May be Required
in order to Achieve Harmony   

It is not easy, for sure, to achieve the desired results. Sometimes it may even be painful. It is worth it to do whatever it takes, and you will be able to confirm this only after you have accomplished each change and enjoyed the results. 

We may be wrong when we believe that a person “is that way” and “we can’t make them change.” Some people may deserve your help to make some changes. There is one experiment that I would like to share with you: 

Treat that person as if he or she was one of the kindest individuals you know. Show that person that you really expect the best from them. In most cases you may be very surprised at the response. 

Divorce for example is one of the most traumatic experiences that a human being can go through. In some cases though, you may need to go to that extreme. This is especially true if some of the issues that displease you are related to a consistently abusive relationship.  

Abuse does not need to be violent; it suffices that one or the other partners may not be affectionate or generous enough, to establish a difficult situation where one is the taker and the other is the giver. In a partnership of any kind, sentimental or not, equal benefits must be enjoyed by the partners so they feel fairly treated. Only in fairness is harmony possible.